Our suffering (feelings of shame and fear) are often like a low-grade, dirty puddle we are standing in. When we actually drop the defenses and fully feel the memory state, then it feels as if we have fallen into a dark well of misery, a never ending underground stream of sorrow and pain. Because our defenses took us out of this pain (forward) to some extent, it is easy to think that falling back into the well of darkness is going backwards and regressing. And yet paradoxically, going back, and falling into the well of darkness is the only place that we can actually move forward and undo the past. Once we can return to the past, like time travelers, then we can meet the past with our Love and Wisdom and the past is undone and changes the future trajectory of our lives. The past and the present are in the moment and the trajectory of the future can change through the power of Love. There is a past and it exists in every present moment. To enfold that past with love, is to change the future course of the planet. The whole ocean is in the drop.
Going forwards often means going backwards and going up means going down and going outside is the wrong direction while going inside is the right direction. Sometimes we need to constrict in order to expand – as in tightening up and saying “No” to your own inner reactivity. And sometimes when we expand through gaining an insight the contrast from the intensity of struggle can feel kind of “blah.” It is important to continue to examine our inner condition within the context of relationship, process and the big picture, instead of jumping to conclusions about what something means.