I am wondering whether, when someone says, “This is hard,” or “This is such hard work,” they
are really saying, “I am feeling so stupid, wrong or bad because I am taking too long, I can’t, I
don’t want to, there is something wrong with me, I am feeling inadequate, I am afraid you are
thinking this of me…… and on and on. Whenever we learn something new, or get a new insight,
our tendency is to immediately judge the previous state of unawareness instead of rejoicing at the
new awareness. This inner dynamic repeats itself in countless situations in life, and becomes the
general attitude towards growth and learning. The judgment itself creates suffering and then self
pity for the “hard work,” you are having to do.
The fear of feeling the shame associated with learning, serves to maintain the status quo and
stops curiosity and growth. When we can rejoice at a new insight instead of judging our old state
of ignorance, in any little circumstance, then we are on the path without hindrance. It is such an
obstacle to complain about how hard it is and to judge ourselves for not “being there,” wherever
“there” is in our imaginations. It is such splitting of our psych to judge ourselves for our previous
stages of unfolding and growing.
Consider how this mimics the ways in which you were taught anything as a child. Was there
celebration for some achievement – or was there, “This is still not good enough.” Your
complaint that “it is hard,” is the plea for recognition instead of criticism, acceptance rather than
shaming expectation. Consider all the ways your young self was praised and rewarded, or
punished and rejected around any learning situation. Either way, shame and anxiety were created
around learning, which mad it HARD and learning became associated with pain.
It is a resistance to the process, because the process of learning has been fraught with dangers.
How have you internalized this voice of judgment in relationship to your own inner growth. How
will you correct this inner dynamic with Truth and compassion for the child you were.
How do you damn yourself with shame if you resist growth because it is associated with shame,
fear and pain? Now you are in a royal double bind. There is only one way out of the pretzel in
which you have tied yourself and that is to bring compassion to both levels of this dynamic and
tell yourself the Truth about growth. As long as you hate others because they are not growing, is
how you hate yourself for not growing.
Remember always, you already are what you aspire to be, you just cannot quite realize this in
awareness yet. There are still too many external distractions. And so, there is no other goal than
loving awareness. There is nothing to “achieve.”
Practice eliminating the phrase, “It’s so hard” from your vocabulary and try saying instead “Thank you,” – to yourself for staying with the process of growth.
Practice imagining a plant complaining about obstacles to growth instead of just patiently, millimeter by millimeter unfolding into it’s fullest potential, just by following the light of the son (internal) and absorbing the water and nourishment of the earth. Use this photo as a meditation.